Momentum

I don't want to her, I don't want to know...

2008-05-06T20:57:00.000-07:00

Graduation inches closer and closer...and ironically enough I now found myself with more free time than ever.

It seems like these days are going by slow and fast at the same time.

I have also been really getting into Madonna lately.

Ray of Light, Confessions on a Dancefloor, and Hard Candy = Amazing, deep, and fun albums.

I also find myself finding strength in something I thought I'd never find strength in - myself.

My dreams and my future are what motivate me now...what keep me going...

I have come too far to lose now, to anyone or anything.

I will not be defeated so easily.

I am not a mind reader.

2008-04-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

And neither are you.

Though I wish you were.

Life would be a lot easier.

"Ask and you shall receive."

Yui - I LOVED YESTERDAY -review-

2008-04-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

Yui - I LOVED YESTERDAY

Tracklist:

1. Laugh Away
2. My Generation
3. Find me
4. No way
5. Namidairo
6. Daydreamer
7. Love is all
8. I will love you
9. We will go
10. OH YEAH
11. My friend
12. LOVE & TRUTH
13. Am I wrong?

I LOVED YESTERDAY is Yui's 3rd album. It has sold about 260,000 copies on the Japanese Oricon Charts and has held the number 1 position for about two weeks now. Yui herself is a young acoustic based Japanese musician. She plays acoustic guitar in all her songs and writes all of her lyrics. Her album title is a reference to the popular Beatle's classic "Yesterday."

The album opens on a strong, spring note with the upbeat and inspiring Laugh Away. Yui immediately draws the listener in with her catchy "Get away, get away"s and addictive chorus. The instrumentation is also quite addictive too. Laid back, yet upbeat, and springish, but not too springish, the guitar and percussion in the song instantly transport the listener to their favorite place- whether it is a hill, flower, field or beach. 10/10

Next up is the first single from the album My Generation. This is another upbeat song, but with a more mature sound than Laugh Away. Although they are both the same type of "cheer up, it's all going to be ok" song, Yui manages to create a different atmosphere between the two, despite the fact that My Generation is pretty much a Laugh Away part 2. However, there is no denying that this is yet another high quality song from Yui. 8.3/10

Moving away from the upbeat songs, Yui goes into a more slower paced and relaxed style in Find Me. A lahttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=37953636
Blogger: Momentum - Create Postid back, mid-tempo tune with a surprisingly loud chorus. This isn't a bad song, it just sounds so average after the previous two tracks. 7/10

Back to fast paced songs! Yui throws her listener into a spiral of punk guitar riffs and raging percussion in the interlude No Way. For a short interlude (it's only 1:18 long). Its quite catchy and memorable. 9/10

Ballad time! The next song Namidairo is a calm acoustic based ballad that sounds like something Michelle Branch or the sort would put out. I cannot say it is one of my favorite ballads, but it is still catchy and emotional. Especially the chorus. 8.4/10

What's this? Yui doing full out rock? Electric guitar dominates Daydreamer, and I really have to commend Yui from stepping out of her acoustic comfort zone on this song. Daydreamer is a great song, and definitely one of my favorites from the album. Everything about it is perfect- the lyrics, the chorus, the verses, the guitar. Definitely a must listen. 10/10

Now we have Love is all, another mid-paced song similar to Find me. Except it is executed ten times better. Especially in the chorus. Yui manipulates her voice during the chorus, and this is what makes it stand out. 8.2/10

How can describe I will love you...it is definitely a lay on the ground and look at the sky kind of song. The type of song one would just lay on the ground and watch the clouds go by. Some people may find this song boring, but I like it. 7.9/10

Back to the upbeat stuff is We Will Go, a track with a unique snare drum pattern in the background. Unfortunately, this is all the song has going for it-other than that, it is kind of generic. I can't say much about it except it is average and forgettable. 6.9/10

OH YEAH manages to bring the album back to a high standard, however. My oh my, this song gets stuck in your head. From Yui's soft whisperings of "Baby..." to the fun refrain and "oooh oooh ooohs...", this is definitely a fun summer beach song. Really makes me want to go to the beach...9/10

The subtle and mellow My friend follows, and it is quite a sweet song. Another possibly boring song for some, but it is quite sweet sounding, despite its genericness. 7/10

The album gets really dark all of a sudden with Love and Truth. The song itself sounds dark from the start, with its orchestral beginning, light acoustic strums, and Yui's desperate and emotional vocals. A really sad song with a refrain that rings of a dark and lonely desert...this is truly a song of loneliness and despair. 10/10

The album concludes with a really mellow track Am I wrong?. Am I wrong? ends the album on a bittersweet note, and serves as the foil for the album's opening Laugh Away. A nice way to bring it to a close. 7.5/10.

Overall, I enjoyed I LOVED YESTERDAY. Definitely a really good album for those who are into acoustic music. Yui's style is actually pretty fresh in the Jpop industry, and I commend her for continuing to just be herself in her music. Give it a listen, even if a few of the tracks are a little boring.

Overall = 8.4 = B

Good job Yui :] For those interested, check out the video for Laugh Away here: http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-295260/YUI-Laugh-Away-English-Subtitles.html

marionette

2008-04-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

"We were not born to live, just putting on a mask and hiding our face like the dead..."

Secrets can be interesting.

Everyone has one. Or two. Or a few hundred. Whatever the case, they're almost always hidden. Either to protect someone or themselves.

But why hide something if it eats away at you?

Why hold back?

I think that's why I love honesty and face to face talking over IM and stuff.

I like being able to say whatever I want to people. It is empowering.

I like how I dont have to hide anything in this. We're always open with each other.

I like that.

2008-04-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

So I am thinking, as I usually do at this time of night.

And I could be cool and write stories like everyone else, but I do not like writing stories.

I think if you guys are taking the time to read my blog, you actually want to know what's up with me rather than read little random non-amusing stories (seriously, I am not that creative).

It bothers me how superficial and image-based this world has become.

In order to be popular and for people to love you, one has to be young,hip,beautiful, and happy all the time.

Why can someone just be normal and be loved by the general public? Why does America as a whole worship people who sleep around and have no talent at all?

Although this world is full of miracles, I must say it is full of stupidity too.

Humanity....I question it so much. Humans claim to be higher than animals, but it puzzles me how a species based around sex and money is any different.

That is what everything revolves around is it not? Sex and money? It is what drives friends and families apart, and the reasons why crime exists.

It sickens me how low humans can be.

2008-04-13T00:54:00.000-07:00

So perhaps I think about the future too much.

But...it is mine to grasp.

And grasp it I will.

The future though...it scares me and excites me at the same time.

The people I will meet that will change my life forever.

I wonder what their names are. What they look like. Are they fun-loving? Do they like to go out? What do they do for fun?

I guess I'll find out soon enough eh?

I wonder. Are they thinking about what I am like right now?

Mirrorcle World

2008-04-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

After much thought, I have decided to transfer back to Momentum as my main blog :]

I abandoned it a while back when I started a new one, but alas, I feel it is time to come back here and share everything that's been going on with me.

It is the end of the year now pretty much...and so much has happened to me this year...my final year of high school.

I got into my dream school. Claremont McKenna College. I still cannot believe I got in and am actually going there.

I am finally formally learning Japanese.

I have become a lot more open to certain aspects of college life.

I have realized how much I truly value my friends. Seriously, I would not believe alive, sane, and have achieved my dreams if it were not for them.

To everyone reading this, do not abuse your friends. Especially your best friend. Your best friend is the one who is always standing by you even after you just yelled at them. Your best friend is the one who sends you music you or him cannot understand whenever you ask him too. Your best friend is the one who always listens to you. Always. No matter how busy he is doing homework. He is the one supporting you 24/7. And he always does what you ask and makes sure you are happy. Always.

Thanks a bunch to you. I'll always be grateful for all the things you have done for me. :]

Miracles....I used to not believe them.

But now...I think they are real. Only they never really happen by chance only...we can make them ourselves too (Jesus free!)

I myself know this because I have made my own with the help of several others...

This world...truly is beautiful and miraculous...isnt it?

2007-09-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

You say you want me dead
You want to kill me.

I know this.

None of this is your fault though, I am far away

And I am letting things get to me that shouldn't.

And you get the blunt end of my anger, and I am sorry.

If me dead is what you want, I can do it myself, by my own hand.

Don't take away the reason Im trying

Don't take away my hope.

Don't take away the reason I am living

2007-07-21T22:56:00.001-07:00

We don't have to be friends, but I don't want to be enemies.

As I reflect on how stupid and flawed my judgment has been this summer, I realize how much of a fool I've been. Thinking somebody could bring me happiness. I guess I am alone again. Oh well.

My flaws...

I'm too nerdy...
I'm not preppy enough....
I like sex...
I talk about school too much.

Well, you did end this on such a wonderful note. I must say you are so good with words. In fact, you are so good with them you did this over AIM. Yeah. You have so much dignity to not even call me and tell me over the phone. Go you.

And you were cheating on me? Looking for someone else while dating me? That makes you even a better person! At least break up with me first.

I don't usually wish bad things on people, but I really can't say I wish you well.

What goes around comes around. Youll get yours too.

At least I have a future. I am not going to be like you and be living with my parents and going to a sub par university like Lamar.

No. I will be a strong,independent, attractive , and intelligent guy, and I will be living in an awesome place. Unlike you who will be stuck here all of his life. I truly pity you in that aspect.

Oh, and by the way, on looks, I am not the one with acne and a mustache. Not to mention I didn't fit any stereotypes....

Anyway, there you go. That's what I want to say to you.

How can you expect us not to be enemies? Look at you! I might have made some mistakes here, but you did too. So don't think you're innocent.

And to piss you off further, I'm posting my schedule.

Modern Middle Eastern Studies
Advanced Biology
Advanced Biology Lab
Genetics
Genetics Lab
Advanced Math Applications
British Lit
Acting II
Spanish III Immersion
Computer Multimedia Programming

Strategy and Diplomacy
Evolution in Literature
Spanish III Immersion
Trigonometry
Stage Production/Rep
Advanced Biology
Advanced Biology Lab

I don't have times yet though.

I'm so excited about LSMSA though. I'll have a great time I'm sure.

I'm getting one step closer...

2007-07-11T00:46:00.001-07:00

I am at a loss for words.

Isn't everything ok now?

I don't know...

I'm sorry you're like this.

I hope that one day you will look to the sky and smile, and feel emotion and joy.

I am sorry I could not do that for you.

Forgive me.

2007-06-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

Come back to me.

2007-06-16T23:02:00.001-07:00

Hmm....

You know, it doesn't have to end like this.

I don't want it to. I want to support you and be there for you.
You do have a purpose.
I do depend you.

And theories have been disproven, thanks to the one who saved me.

I'm alive again. I've been reborn. It's great, and I'm so happy.

I just want everyone else around me to be happy, including you.

I was such a monster back then. Someone saved me from myself though, and put me at peace. I can finally relax.

I'm here for you, all of my friends. Thanks for all of your love and support.

Now that I've finally met the one who saves me...

I can finally repay all of you.

2007-06-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Wow...

Looking back on it, I was such a monster.

First, I'd like to start off by saying that I've abandoned what used to be me. I've found a reason to do my best and enjoy life.

I've been lifted out of the hole I had been shoved in long ago.

I am at peace with myself, and I owe it all to someone very special.

Secondly...I'd like to apologize. To all of you.

To the innocent one who became a victim of my violence, I am so sorry.

You got caught in the crosshairs of the silent war between me and another, and I apologize you got caught up in this. You are a wonderful person who will make someone really happy, and I wish you nothing but happiness in your life.

To the one on the opposite side of the ring...

We've battled many battles.

We've almost killed each other.

We've stolen each other's sanity.

There's no need for this fighting anymore though

I was saved by love, even though I tried to keep love away.

I hope you can read this with a light heart, and move on as well.

I think it is better this way, after all the pain we brought upon each other.

Good luck with your life,and I'm sure you'll grow up to do something great.

And now...for the last part...to someone special...

I thank you for everything. For the longest time, I thought love was a made up thing only real in fairy tales and novels, and then you came along. You showed me how to live.

You showed me that it is possible to truly love someone and be loved back.

You carried me out of the abyss...
You let me know that Im not alone in any of my situations, and that all my suffering wasnt for nothing.

If I had to, I'd suffer all again just to meet you. I truly and deeply love you with all of my heart.

And that as they say, is that.

2007-06-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

Let's see...

Cartharsis time.

I REALLY embarrassed myself over the weekend, and I want to smack myself for it.

What's done is done though eh?

Anyway, Orientation was great.

Too bad I couldn't stay for summer school.

I'm kind of nervous about next year...but at the same time excited.

I can't make the same mistakes I made here, though I already am starting to, and school hasn't even started.

I have to stop this and gain back control.

It is funny, really. The hardest thing to control in my life is myself.

2007-06-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

Love oh love

I want to believe in love

I want to believe this feeling that I feel deeply for you

But if you cant turn away and go

Dont turn and leave

And I will do the same.

2007-05-31T23:52:00.001-07:00

I am so fucking fucked up.

Alliteration.

2007-05-31T23:49:00.001-07:00

I'm gone

I've lost myself

I dont know who I am

I dont know who you are

Youre tearing me apart

stop it

stop it

stop it

2007-05-31T22:10:00.001-07:00

You gladly gave me everything you had and more

You craved my happiness

When you made me feel joy it made you smile

but now I feel your stress

2007-05-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

I need a miracle and not someone's charity

I don't know right now.

I hate summer.

I can't focus.

I know what you are thinking and what you want.

you can't have that with me.

I apologize.

All that is sending me is most likely ending me

2007-05-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

So here we are.

It is summer.

There you are, and here I am.

I hate the summer.

Kind of.

I hate it because I do not get to see anyone as much.

I do like not having to worry about school, but still.

I worry that the gap between me and you will widen.

And I do not want that.

2007-05-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

Am I just some thing you used to get around?

The person you step on to get higher?

You liar.

Liar.

Liar.

And fool.

There is no me anymore. He's burned away.

Hope or pain?

My choice?

I cannot have either one.

I always pick one, and the other comes along.

How long will this go on?

How long will I be forced to bleed all over the floor for you?

And I still don't understand your intent.

Go fuck somebody already. I serve you no purpose in that area, so go find someone who can.

Dammit.

I am so fucked up.

2007-05-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

Question of the day:

Am I getting fat?

2007-04-29T22:56:00.003-07:00

Space for the tagboard and video

Space

XDXDXD space

Olivia Lufkin A little pain

2007-04-29T22:56:00.001-07:00

2007-04-29T22:37:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZvyEN-3yXY

I'm starting to do this whole post music with blog thing so that all of you will know my state of mind better at the time of the post. The music I am listening to at the moment I am writing heavily affects what I say, so maybe this will help you all better understand me.

The song I am listening to right now is called a little pain, and it was written and composed by Olivia Lufkin. If you would like to hear it, I posted it here.

Last night was a nice night.

Even though I realized just how soon we will be torn apart from each other.
You let me hold you.

You let me know you're there.

Even though you wouldnt hold me back, I still felt your presence. You told me there was no need to worry, but I cannot imagine not having you there.

I really do love you.

For who you are.

I love you because you know me better than anyone else.
I love you because you are like me.

I love you because you are everything I've dreamed of.

Even if you dont feel the same, its ok.

I know youll always be there for me, and I'll always be there for you.

And I know one day youll find someone else, who youll truly and deeply love, and youll start a family, and forget about me.

But you'll be engraved in my mind as the first person I truly had feelings for.

The person I truly knew inside and out, and the person who truly could read my soul.

I really wish we wouldnt have to leave each other like this soon.

I hope you have the best and most happiest life possible.

I wish you nothing but the best

and if you ever get tired of flapping your wings, then you can come to me, wherever I may be, and I'll help you.

Its funny too.

People talk, you know?

About you, and you dont care what they say.

People can be so cruel.

But I'll always be here, waiting for you.

And no matter what the future brings, I'll never forget you.

So lets these few months we have left count.

2007-04-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

I feel bad for hurting you like I do.

But I go through a lot more pain than you ever do.

You have everything.

And what do I have?

Nothing anymore.

I have given it all to you.

You're so much more better than me.

I cannot compete with you.

I really do love you

but you never loved me.

2007-04-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

I wish I could do something worthwhile.

I wish I could sing.

Not professionally, just decently to where people wouldnt mind.

And I could sing all I want.

I wish I would not feel such pain.

I wish you could love me

And hold me

and tell me that everything is going to be ok

But you cant.

And you never will.

You will never be waiting for me.

Always laughing with me...and dreaming of the life you could have if it were not for me

I will grant you this gift in due time.

2007-04-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

You know, it is a shame how so few many people know me.

I'd like to share this thing with my English class, but I cannot because it is so dumb. It can't compare to how great everyone else's is. Mine doesnt make sense and would just freak people out.

I never do anything right.

Im not strong at all.

When did I become so negative?

When did I become so weak?

2007-04-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

Hmm.

Today was good.

An average day...

Though I cannot keep my inferiority at bay.

It becomes more evident with each day.

I cannot control it.

Ah, Im so breaking down.

Sinking...

sinking....

s i n k i n g . . .

2007-04-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight is very nostalgic.

The end is getting close.

That only means our end is getting close.

I don't want it to end.

I don't want that night to come where we must say goodbye.

I remember we made a promise...

but when that day comes, it will be broken.

I am sorry.

At least you'll be happier right?

I can go on knowing that.

Knowing that you are happy.

You're happy. You'll be happy.

Be happy for me.

So I can remember you like that in my heart.

I'll always remember you as a kindhearted person who took care of me.

Even if it was not like I expected.

Heh. You just smiled.

It hurts, but in a good way.

I wish I could trade my family.

I wish it wasn't like this.

I know that soon I'll start seeing you less and less, and then never again.

And I'll have left are the fragments of the memories, shattered in my hand.

2007-04-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today was an okay day.

I dont know what I should do.

child of the sun

It started out ok. Everything was fine. I was happy. In Health we took a bitchy test and in physics we started sound and light by playing with tuning forks.

In English we talked about pie orgies. Christa is very knowledgeable about these.

Pre Cal was fun as usual.

World history we read a document about black liberators.

American History. What do you think? Nothing.

changing with the sky
sakura shy
december clouds cry

I cant shake off that feeling that that old man is controlling who is important and who is not. Its like if you dont succeed in his class, you suck at life.

And of course, I dont succeed.

I mean I dont do bad, but compared to everyone else, I do terrible.

So once again, my inferiority is proven.

illuminous light illuminate me
play me a symphony
dance with me

I dim out as usual. I become cut so to speak, and bleed all over the place.
I cant help it if I am hated.
I dont know.
After school, I didn't know what to say. I knew that if I spoke, I would speak terrible things, so I felt it would better to be quiet than say anything at all.

child of the moon
changing with the tide
up and down
the seashore sidestyle="font-style:italic;">

So I was pretty much depressed the rest of the day.

I took a long walk.

I dont understand whats so good

about being me

Im inferior

im not good enough

And I never will be.

2007-04-15T22:56:00.000-07:00

How come every time I reach into the sky, I find nothing?

I reach into the sky searching for something, and I all I get is a starless night.

I realized that no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough.

I will always be inferior.

To you.

I hate that.

I hate how you are better than me in everything.

I hate how the school values you more than me.

I hate it all.

I hate it when you are not around.

I hate it when you are around.

I hate it when I have to scream to get your attention.

I hate it when I cry because you try and make things better, and it only makes it worse.

I hate how I am a second class student.

I hate how my best is not enough.

I hate how I am challenging myself and struggling and taking the hard path while others take the easy path and are shining and brilliant.

Where are the rewards?

I hate how I am alone.

I hate how my dreams never come true.

I hate how everyone lies to me.

I hate how everyone rapes me.

I hate how I am bleeding inside.

I hate how emo I am acting.

All I want is to be protected.

Someone protect me

Someone save me from myself

Someone hold me and tell me everything is ok.

Tell me I am not flawed.

Tell me I can do this.

Please.

Save me from this starless night and cloudy world I live in.

2006-12-10T08:16:00.000-08:00

Since everyone else is doing it, I might as well do it too.

Rather than reviving my previous blog (that thing needs to die), I decided to create a new one. So farewell to Le Code de Bonne Conduite and welcome to...Momentum? Strange title, I know, but it's titled that because life is full of Momentumous (is that even a word?) moments.

Consider this blog just a way of keeping up with me.

w00t. Lol 1 pwn j00 w1t my 1337.

Time to go template searching...